Recently, at the hospital where I work providing music therapy, I had the opportunity to visit with a woman who had been in the hospital for a few days with severe abdomen pain and was just diagnosed with intestinal issues with bleeding. She’s in her late 60s. According to her nurse, she has been quite down and I was asked to see her for emotional support and coping with being in the hospital. In talking with her, she told me that she is a bit anxious and scared because they still don’t know what the issues are and that she may have to have some invasive tests performed. She said that she is having trouble sleeping, because of pain and worry. She also told me that she loves music and loves going to concerts, especially seeing her favorite 80s rock bands (“It makes me feel young.”).
She became a bit tearful in telling me that she has to miss an upcoming concert that she was looking forward to – Def Leppard and Journey. The concert is tomorrow and she was supposed to go with her husband to celebrate her birthday – which also happens to be tomorrow. (I can see why she is feeling down. She seems to have lost some control and sense of self by being in the hospital.) She again mentioned the continuous pain and is fearful of possible surgery. I listened, offered her some emotional support (mainly by listening) and then played some songs from her favorite bands, including Def Leppard and Journey. I played, mainly with a bit of a soothing feel, to both help her relax and to help her cope.
She immediately became emotional with the music. In asking her about it she said that she was just “holding a lot inside” and that it actually felt good to have a “release”. I agreed and mentioned how music can help bring on an emotional release and help to release tension. We continued our little “concert” of 80s rock songs (adding Guns N’ Roses and Poison to the mix) and she listened, smiled, sang…and cried. Finally we just sat together for a few moments in silence. And then, she thanked me. She said, “I’m a bit astounded that this just happened…listening to these songs while I’m here, in this gown…in this hospital. I didn’t expect that. It just makes me feel like (she paused) a real person again.” Which is a continuing theme that I often hear – sharing music in the hospital makes me feel like a real person again.
Music, something aesthetic and personally meaningful, can certainly help with resetting, gaining back some control, facilitating an emotional outlet and, well…helping one feel “real” again. I know that music and music therapy isn’t going to completely take away her pain or suddenly help avoid surgery, but, when you are in the hospital and fearing the unknown and fearing the continuous pain that just won’t go away, perhaps you are not feeling “real”. And I imagine that must be pretty unsettling. This is one of the ways, perhaps, that music and music therapy may help. It may help us feel “real” again, give us some control back (these were her songs after all), even if it’s just for a little while, sharing some favorite 80s rock songs in the middle of the day. And, creating an emotional connection, a sense of self and validating one’s feelings. As I often say, when there is nothing else, we still have music.